Inert

The TAILS fundraiser is tomorrow night. I should be looking forward to it. I should be at least a little excited. I'm not. This week seems to have fallen almost completely off the tracks, leaving me feeling utterly exhausted, totally without interest, and less than remotely concerned about my own well being. Not at all where I want to be. I realize that. The logical, process oriented part of my brain knows this is not a good thing. That same part of my brain knows where this state of mind could lead if left unchecked. And that's where it ends. There's no spark to do anything about it. Just that great grey disconnect that makes me just want to curl up and go to sleep. Not good.

Tomorrow could be a great potential time to round up some new enthusiasts for my art. I may even be able to come up up with some paying work. I could give two shits right now. Everything is as it should be in preparation for tomorrow's delivery. The handtruck and everything are ready to go. I am not. I want to be. I know (with that rational brain, again) that my enthusiasm would be beneficial to both me and TAILS tomorrow. Could be a huge boost for my 'art' career. Gotta figure out what to do. Sugar doesn't help. Coffee doesn't help. Booze never really helped. Sleep just ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. But that's all I want to do right now....