Sunday, March 15, 2009

Unidentified Carrot Poop

**It has been, thus far, an urealistically quiet weekend around the ol' hospital. It may be partly because of the lack of NIU students. It may also be partly because of the moderate and sunny weather outside. And, if I were able to take a nap while I was here, I wouldn't really care either way.

**Speaking of the weather, I am most suspicious of the recent turn of events. From the icy cold downpours of last weekend to the near shirtsleeve temps this weekend, I really get the feeling I'm being set up for yet another of nature's practical jokes. I have no doubt that the morning after I run the snowblower out of gas and bury it in the farthest corner of the garage in favor of the lawnmower, I will awake to a winter wonderland. This would also be the morning after I set out hundreds of dollars worth of freeze delicate bedding plants. I know that measureable sticking snow is often on the menu all the way thru the end of April around here. Penguins, not so much, but you never can tell. I really don't trust that shifty eyed woodchuck, either. I hear he's being subsidized by the Weather Channel.

**Viva thinks I should put an ad in the paper and hire a gardener. I'm not quite sure how to take that.

**I had no idea that Johnny Appleseed was buried in Fort Wayne.

**Thus far it has proven to be annoyingly difficult to find somewhere to buy some bales of straw. At least that's the case in the 3 places I checked today in the space of about an hour. That has been the only potential non-toxic solution I can come up with for the part of the backyard that has turned into an ever expanding mud bog. I am hoping that a few pounds of grass seed with a covering of straw will help reseed that area in a reasonable amount of time. It may also help to keep my carpets from looking like black and white Jackson Pollock paintings courtesy of the Thundering Herd.

**I have a basic basic idea for taking down the big TV aerial on the north side of the house, and yet I think I will refrain from sharing said idea with the wife. I'm betting this is the kind of thing best undertaken when she is not around to notice it actually happening. Of course, should she not be around, I may have to rely on one of the neighbors to call the rescue squad and/or the fire department should things go as they often tend to when I undertake such projects. Still not sure which of those is the better option.

**Pomergranates are an annoying fruit to eat. Tasty, but annoying.

**I am currently awaiting Mr. Koch's acknowledgement of my efforts to place him in checkmate. Should I prove to be correct, my current winning chess average would rocket up to a less than astounding 50%. This victory would still fail to offset the mega-ass-whooping dealt to my pride by the loss I was handed last time around, though.

**In recent nights, I have been having a series of long, strange, vivid dreams. Don't know why.

**Three weeks. That's how long it will be till my next stretch of time off. I am fighting the urge to start marking off the days with big red x's on the calendar.

**The Department of Annoying Events has informed me that I will be attending no less that 3 weddings this summer. One of these involves someone who has already been married. All three involve couples who are already living together. None of them involve anyone I know on any level other than extremely casual. This accounts for the DAE's involvement and their current request for what seems to me to be ridiculous amounts of funding for gifts. I am not amused by the situation. If I still drank, there would at least be a moderate potential for me to be amused while attending these events. As I do not, there is substantial doubt concerning the quantity of my amusement possibilities.

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