Oink Oink

ATTENTION KNUCKLEHEADS OF THE WORLD!!

YOU DO NOT HAVE SWINE FLU!

(Much in the same way you didn't have bird flu, SARS, smallpox, ebola,

or anthrax when those were the diseases of the moment.)

Just because you drove past a Taco Bell on the way home, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you once thought Ricky Martin was really cool, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you were out all last night drinking tequila, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you were craving a burrito with extra guacamole, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you hired a mariachi band to play at your uncle's funeral, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. A huge lack of good taste perhaps, but not swine flu. Just because your kids watch Dora the Explorer from sunup to sundown, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. If you still remember the Macarena, you may want to consider getting swine flu, just so people will have some sympathy for you.

If none of the situations above apply to you, you still probably don't have swine flu. Take your time and read that last line again. OK, now once more. Got it? Good. Now stay the hell out of my damn ED!

Dusty Work

I am greatly enjoying working with pastels. Not necessarily the color tones commonly known as pastels, but the media known as pastels. Which, I always called chalk. Guess you can charge more for them if you call tem pastels. Anyway, I seem to be finding my greatest degree of success with them currently. Not sure if it's this specific project, or the indications of a greater preference in the arc of my artistic career (don't that sound cool??). Looking back, I have done quite a bit of work with chalk in the past, second only in quantity to colored pencil. Think one of the things I really enjoy about it is being able to do the blending with my hands. The way I've been using it, it's a very physical media. Not that I couldn't do that with acrylics, I just haven't yet. The oil pastels I'm not so crazy about. Kinda reminds me of an overly soft crayon. May be that my choice of substrate isn't right, but at the moment, something about that media doesn't quite ring with me. Having a hard time blending it, even with stumps. I think the next thing I have to do is address how to seal the chalk pieces I've been doing. I'm thinking of using a spray fixative, but I have to find one that doesn't change the color of the piece, or make the substrate warp. Of course, if I hard mounted my substrate before working with it, I wouldn't have to worry about warpage (that's just a fun word to say). Yet another consideration to throw into the mix. Gesso is another consideration. I'm thinking that may give the surface a bit too much tooth, and make blending overly difficult. The medium texture paper works pretty well for holding the chalk and still letting me move it around some when I want to. So, tomorrow I will possibly sacrifice one of the earlier versions of the 'Kitchen' series to the art gods in hopes of finding a way to seal the chalk onto the paper. Alternately, I could just never physically touch any of my chalk pieces ever again. At this point in time, I don't know which would be better.

Arcs of Gelatinous Lemon Refrigerators

**Almost....
17. That could be the number. I'm not quite sure. If it isn't is soooo damn close. The more I look at it, the more I think it might be the one. 16 was OK, and I really don't think 18 will end up being that good. But 17. That speaks to me. Not sure if it's the right language. But it does speak to me. Could be French, I don't know for sure. But, if 17 isn't it, I don't know how much closer I'm gonna get.

**Prolonged Squishyness
Rain, rain, rain, rain, more rain, some sprinkles, then some more rain. Thunder, lightning. Whoop-te-freakin-do. If things don't dry out around here, I guess they'll just stay wet. I'm thinking the mosquitoes this season will be about the size of small goats.

**Teeny Tiny Orange Things
I think I'm gonna make one last attempt at getting the tank back on-line. My prime motivator for doing so was the discovery last night of at least two baby platys.

**The End Of The Project
Just about 2 weeks till Eve gets that MBA placed in her tiny brown fist. Sorry I can't be there, but I am looking forward to seeing the new place.

**Missing: Kittyluv
Donde esta Kittyluv? Yo no se.

**No Chips Off The Block
I can almost hear the mumblings and rumblings growing louder down in central IL. I understand that I have gotten quite a ways off schedule regarding a certain carving I had meant to have completed by about a month ago. Ooops. No, not really oops. Just running with the artistic fuel of the moment, and it isn't wood carving. But with the potential return of warm weather, I'll move the carving station back outside and renew my efforts. I mean, you can't just bail on someone you've known since the fourth grade...

**I'm Just A Night Owl
Mornings are just too full of distractions to be good productive times for me in the studio. The dogs want in, the dogs want out, the phone is ringing, Sheri wants me to do this and she wants me to do that, grass needs to be moved, errands need to be run, and flowers need to be watered. Blech. Can't concentrate with all that going on around me and constantly trying to suck me in. So it looks like I'm going to be doing the late shift in the studio. On the days that I work, that ends up being an end time of about 2 in the morning. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later, depending on how it's going. Sheri does not like this idea. Her primary argument against it was that the later I stay up, the later I will be getting up in the morning, thus missing out on one of the things I need most when the weather is warm: sunlight. While I can't argue with that, I also presented the fact that even when it's sunny out, I don't tend to go outside until the heat has had a chance to build up. Either way, I'm up and functional by 1030-1100.
Of course this is all conditional on the idea that the momentum I currently have going on indoor type artistic projects can be maintained. I do have quite the stock of logs and other types of wood in the garage. And they have shown a huge lack of motivation when it comes to carving themselves. Given the general amount of mess involved, carving is the kind of thing I prefer to do outside. But right now, my energy is running quite smoothly in other directions, and I'd rather not muck that up.

**O U 8 IT 2
Once again I find myself tossing around the idea of getting either a vanity or personalized license plate. Check out the possibilities in the sidebar survey, and cast a vote for your favorite. Go ahead and vote for more than one if you want.

**Hanging Out
My bike hasn't made it down from it's winter spot on the ceiling of the garage yet. Not helping matters is the great pile of boxes stacked in that corner of the garage that Sheri has yet to go through.

**I'm really not convinced that it's safe for me to run the rest of the gas out of the snow blower yet. In much the same way that I'm not convinced that it's safe yet to uncover my banana plants, or plant my morning glory seeds. And, as usual, I find myself willingly behind the curve on lawn care. I'm pretty sure that probably three of my neighbors have mowed their yards at least once already. I think one last snow may just be possible. Or that could just be wishful thinking. But then again I hate snow.
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