ATTENTION KNUCKLEHEADS OF THE WORLD!!
YOU DO NOT HAVE SWINE FLU!
(Much in the same way you didn't have bird flu, SARS, smallpox, ebola,
or anthrax when those were the diseases of the moment.)
Just because you drove past a Taco Bell on the way home, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you once thought Ricky Martin was really cool, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you were out all last night drinking tequila, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you were craving a burrito with extra guacamole, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. Just because you hired a mariachi band to play at your uncle's funeral, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. A huge lack of good taste perhaps, but not swine flu. Just because your kids watch Dora the Explorer from sunup to sundown, that doesn't mean you have swine flu. If you still remember the Macarena, you may want to consider getting swine flu, just so people will have some sympathy for you.
If none of the situations above apply to you, you still probably don't have swine flu. Take your time and read that last line again. OK, now once more. Got it? Good. Now stay the hell out of my damn ED!
1 comment:
HAHA I am so glad I don't work in the lab anymore! Although you could probably sell those Flu tests on the street for top dollar and make a profit! Hay there's your out, you could probably make enought to retire, that is if the tests arn't on backorder... and you don't get caught "borrowing" them.
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