Friday, March 26, 2010

Butter Brickle Olives

*On the turntable: ELO, Cosby, and Animal Stories.

*Quick lesson: People cause global warming. Fewer people, less warming. Got it? Good. And before you go and get all worked up in a frenzy about the polar bears or whatever, think of how much it is that the extinction of the dodo or the passenger pigeon has impacted your day to day life.

*After a lag of 20+ years, I finally understand. Back in the day, I used to hang around with this guy named Darren Pettyjohn. We went to the same church and were in the same grade at the same school, so I think it was kinda mandatory. Anyway, this one day I see Darren eating some cantaloupe. No big deal, right? That's what I thought, until I saw him sprinkling salt on each bite. I thought this was revolting. Why would someone ruin a perfectly good cantaloupe by putting salt on it? His return comment was that it tasted good. I no doubt loudly questioned his sanity at that point in time, and then forgot about the whole thing. For some reason, this little nugget got stuck in my brain and would randomly surface for reasons I am not consciously aware of. Until last week. So, I'm parked on the couch after work one night, waiting for the Tylenol to remove the pulsing spike from my brain while I watch World's Dumbest on TruTV. I'm having a bit of a snack during this whole process, and then I realize what it is that I'm eating. Spicy tortilla chips. Spicy to the point where I needed something to take the edge off, so I had gone to the fridge and gotten some diced up cantaloupe, which I was putting on top of each chip Before eating it. Took me over 2 decades, but I finally understood how the whole spicy/salty thing worked with the sweet of the cantaloupe. What can I say? I can be really slow on the uptake sometimes.

*I don't think I've ever been unaware that I've sneezed. I will say that with the understood condition that I'm not sure if you can sneeze in you sleep. So, I guess what I meant was that I don't think I've even been conscious and unaware that I've sneezed. Therefore, I don't see any reason to have need of someone who then points out to me that I have indeed just sneezed. Nor do I see this event as a worthy cause for invoking any type of religion or mysticism.

*Another quick lesson: Sports heroes are admired for what they can do within their chosen sport. Not for what they do outside of it. Hence the term 'sports hero'. Got it? Good. Relying on someone with highly developed physical prowess to be a moral guidepost for you can end in vast disappointment.

*The first of what could be many FoaMoai has come off the production line. The Boss found this prototype amusing, and that's about the best I could expect, I guess. Need to figure out what kinds of finishes I can do on them, which means I need to get a few more done. Remember kiddies, you never want to destroy your first prototype, in case you need to go all the way back to the start of things again. Now, if you happed to be a masochist, ignore the previous statement. At least the raw materials for these should be easy to come by, since it's all stuff that gets thrown out anyway.

*Many thanks to my old high school classmate Russ DeFord for helping me to look whiter than I ever thought I possibly could. After a reading a Facebook post where he mentioned the Humpty Dance, I dove right into my stacks of CD's and came up with my copy of 'Sex Packets' by Digital Underground. This I inserted into my car stereo, I then rotated the volume knob to the right, and once the windows started rattling, my transformation to Ultra-White was complete. And I couldn't possibly care less. Thanks, Russ.

*Given that there are over 6,000,000,000 (that's billion, for those of you who are counting the zeros) people currently alive on this planet, there must be a shockingly large number of those, who, in the time it's taken you to read this, have been engaged in some type of grooming of their pubic hair.

*Somehow managed to go 3-0 with 400 point armies on the Cyprien's Cove map. Once again, I have a sneaking suspicion that an incomplete understanding of all the appropriate rules may have worked in my favor.

*My friend Steve may have in his possession my new bar fridge. It's bigger than the dorm fridge I currently have. In fact, I think it's exactly double the size of the one I have. I like the idea of having a larger, but not full sized fridge. Now all I have to do is figure out a place to put it. I am still rolling around the idea of building it into the wall by the bar and letting the back of it hang into the Hobbit Hole, but I'm not sure that would leave enough room behind it. I could move the bar to the other side of the room and then just put the fridge through the wall into space where the furnace is. That would give me a semi-legitimate reason to build a new bar. Then I could put the display cases I haven't bought yet on the other wall. Or, I could just go acquire the fridge, and when my conquest of the last room downstairs is complete, I can find a home for it then. The ranch dressing packets, I'm thinking, will have to go.

*My bad kitchen mojo continues, this time with a near failure at the utterly simple task of cooking rice.

*I can't decide. And in the time it will take me to make a decision, I will have come up with other possibilities. But for the moment I am trying to decide between The Blue Moai Lounge and Three Moai Island.


No comments: