Monday, February 8, 2010

Eraser Tossing Siamese Badger Cousins

*I had a beer the other night. It's the first alcoholic beverage I've intentionally consumed in longer than I can remember. It had been in the back of the fridge for quite a while, and the notion of having it had crossed my mind on more than one occasion. So, when I sat down to watch a movie with the Boss, I had that beer. I don't know exactly what it was that I was expecting, but I was not impressed by it on any level that I was aware of. Guess that will be the last alcoholic beverage I will intentionally consume for quite some time.

*'Abbey Road' by the Beatles has been in heavy rotation lately.

*The Boss hates the Wall of Shirts. I like the Wall of Shirts. I am keeping, and most likely expanding the Wall of Shirts. I also need to decide what fake plants to move back downstairs. There's just a couple of odd spaces where some greenery would fill things out nicely. I'm also missing a few wall items that I had intended on hanging up. The search for pin-up art, be it new or old, will also resume shortly. I am thinking that I may need to realign one of my display tables, as it may poke out into the path of traffic just a bit too much. And, having already had one accident that resulted in the loss of vintage tiki, I am not eager for such an event to repeat itself.

*The Pegasus Bridge scenario has been set up for quite a while. Haven't touched it yet, but it's ready to go.

*How is it that such a brief section of a dream can leave you feeling like you've had your heart kicked in for an entire day?

*I found my bar set! I knew it was lurking around somewhere in a box I had recently gone through, but I actually managed to lay my hands on it yesterday. Now it sits in it's rightful place atop the bar and opposite the penguin bowl.

*Did a decent cleaning of the studio yesterday. It had gotten to that point whee it was not only difficult to get to things I needed, I was probably a tad on the dangerous side as well. Actually, it all started on Sunday when I watched a couple episodes of Hoarders on A&E. Whenever I watch that show, it gives me a shot of motivation to get things straightened up. Since I had the Boss right there with me, it kind of got to her too, so the issue of the Purple Room/Dumping Ground came up again. I acknowledged that a good amount of the things currently taking up space in there were mine, so I said I would remove them to my space in order for her to have room to work at getting it straightened around. Now, the original intent for that room was that it be a place for her to work out, sew, and store her collection of hats and purses. While this was fair, I had always harbored the intent of making that room part of the Tiki Lounge Metroplex. Things may have taken another step in my direction, but at the cost of her no longer having any interest in the things she has in there. Not quite the way I wanted it to fall out. But at the moment, I will just continue to put work into the main room downstairs, with the hope of eventually getting the Purple room under my control as well.

*Not the raging snowstorm they were calling for, at least not out here. If I go by what was piled on top of my car, I'm thinking we got 2-3" overnight, with just this near-continuous dusting going on all day long. But now that the sun has gone down, the wind is really starting to move out there.

*In the midst of my cleaning of the studio the other day I happened to run across a project of mine that has been lingering on my 'someday' list for way too long. I had this beat to shit leather coat that I wore almost continuously through at least one year of high school, and I had retained it over the years for any number of reasons. I think it would be safe to say that there would have been people at the reunion who would have recognized that coat, but not have had the slightest idea of who I was. Now, if I remember right, it was originally my grandfather's (on my dad's side), but with the way family history was concealed and distorted, that may or may not have actually been the case. But it was a nice, heavy, old leather coat. The main problem was that the shoulder yoke had basically begun to disintegrate from sheer damn age and whatever abuses could be heaped on it by a teenage boy. I had been my intent (10-15 years after high school), to take that section out and replace it, thus rendering the coat wearable for another ridiculous span of time. I mean, it still fit me, so why not? That was what I was thinking 4-5 years ago. I looked long and hard at that coat after I pulled it out from under my studio workbench. Was I ever going to fix it? What was the point of fixing it? I never really knew my grandfather, so there was no real attachment there. In high school, it was more of a way for me to hide myself than anything else, so why would I want to renew or remember that? But it was personal history. Yeah, personal history that's been at the bottom of a box or storage tub for over two decades with no progress beyond the condition that it's been in since 1985. So, I reluctantly threw it out. But, I know right where it is. All it would take is for me to run out to the curb before the garbage man comes tomorrow, and I could rescue it. I know the smell of it by memory. I know the weight of it on my shoulders. But for all that, I was content to just let it slowly rot away over the years. The only connection to it seems to be some need to have some physical bridge back to that time in my life I would most like to redo. Basically, a bridge back to RegretLand.
The garbage can is a dark shadow at the end of the driveway. The wind is driving wispy snakes of snow down the road under the yellow streetlights. I can see all of this from where I sit at the computer. There's a weight in my heart linked to what's in that can. But I can't help but think that what it makes me remember is just another set of inaccurate memories, much like a lot of the others from that time period. Maybe it's just time for me to slough another layer of skin. To brush away some more ancient dirt and see what lies beneath. Doesn't hurt that it's cold outside, and my eyes are starting to burn from being tired. Makes it easier to not go out there. When I go out to bring the can back up to the garage tomorrow, I'll probably feel a little twinge of regret. But I may just also feel a little lighter, a little freer.


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