CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Easier Said Than Done
In which our hero tries to understand
[Friday, October 3rd]
"A bit sad, but at the same time trying to see it as being free from that past. Not really released, but finally recognizing that whatever was isn't anymore. There is only as much holding me back as I choose to allow."
How strange to be sad for the loss of something that you had made no effort to preserve. Makes it real hard to point an angry finger and say, 'you took my past away' when you understand that you just left things behind, and eventually someone cleaned up after you. No one took my past. I left it behind, and eventually it just faded away. There still is a bit of sadness, a small sense of loss, and a touch of melancholy in all that. So, it's OK to be sad about it for a while. It's just proving to be really hard for me to completely let go of it though.