Thursday, June 26, 2008

How'd You Get Wood Chips in Your Hair?

CHAPTER ONE: Have a Seat, and Close the Door...
The once a year bundle of joy that is our performance evaluation happened to me this week. In general I find it to be an event I am not overly fond of. The end result, a CHAPTER TWO: I Think the Concrete is Soggy...
The weatherman says the winds are bringing us all kinds of Gulf moisture. Along with that comes thunderstorms, humidity, and of course, mosquitos. It's official: summer has arrived in IL. Age has not mellowed my reaction to mosquitos, nor has it made me any less attractive to them. Alas, this was never an issue I had with those of the opposite sex. Well, they did cause an embarrassing swelling, but they weren't overly drawn to me.

My somewhat pokey pace may cause me some problems if I don't get the carving part of my current tiki done. The log seems to be checking at an even faster pace than I thought it would. You'd think that a log that had been sitting for almost a year would be dried out by now. you'd think that, and you'd be as wrong as I was. I kinda hope the increased humidity we're having helps slow the drying process down a bit to give me a chance to get the main work done. Once I've gotten all the line work done, I don't care so much. Now, since I'm still doing major cutting work, I have to be even more careful than usual to not split off an errant piece of wood. Freakin knotty pine has grain going in every direction.
Maybe after I finish this piece (at least the carving), I'll turn my attention to something a bit more along Halloween lines. It's about time for me to dig into all those of odds and ends and see what rises up out of them. I still want to work on a marble coaster, too. Gee, with all this creative stuff to do, you'd think I'd spend less time on the computer, and more working. Logical as that is, for me it's a matter of application of effort.

CHAPTER FOUR: Independence From What??
The folks have gone to MI to acquire even more of the folks, so we've inherited the stink lumpy ancient diapered one for a few days. Needless to say, the dog's bathroom habits aren't that dependable, since there is a diaper involved. As ridiculous as the whole notion seems, I find it more favoravble to deal with a dog in a diaper than to have to clean piss spots out of the carpet. Of course, should Pinklady find another Tootsie Roll of crap on her freshly painted deck, she may well boot that dog clean out of the county. And speaking of piss spots, the flatfaced one will be arriving for the week shortly after the diapered one leaves. This is the dog that feels the need to mark every room in the whole damn house. This has now led to Pinklady deciding that this should be a point of anxiety, even though she was the one who committed us to taking care of the dog in the first place. The next couple of weeks are shaping up to be not a whole lot of fun. Extra dog in the house, extra relatives in the vicinity, extra agitation in my brain, gee, sign me up for more...
Not to mention that thus far, my limited amount of searching has revealed nowhere of note or legend where I can sent Flatface's parents to retrieve a tiki for me. It's freakin NYC, for Pete's sake!! There's got to be somewhere tikiesque in that blighted burg! Then again, maybe not. Cultural mecca my ass.

CHAPTER FIVE: Redundancy Defined Crap! I have no idea what's going on with me now. I seem to be sliding into another trough. Running low on energy, etc, etc, etc. Now, it's only been overcast for a day or so, so it can't be that. I really don't want to point the finger at dietary issues, but that may be more of a key issue than I want to admit. Although I really don't know how a lack of animal protein would figure into my brain problems. I am starting to get within visual range of the end of my rope, though. Or not. I just really don't want to be getting bogged down again. This could lead to a really bad winter should I not be able to get a handle on whatever it is that's going on.

CHAPTER SIX: Startin to Get Real Deep Around Here...
Out of all the things that were discussed during my review this year, there is one main one that I keep coming back to. The notion that there is no longer a second shift. Now, I know there is a time slot that correlates to second shift, but as far as a cohesive group of people, there is no second shift. That just keeps rolling around in my head. Makes me wonder. Could that be a part of the general crappiness around here lately? I mean, me and the Rider are the only ones left. I'm the only full timer to boot. It's first shifters and third shifters filling in and doing a little bit here and there. The supervisor who cannot yet do it all. Nope. There is no second shift. Of course, waiting for the return of the glory days is a waste of time as well. I don't even forsee a stable employee group being established before the beginning of next year. So, I just have to sit this out for the next 5 months to be in a position to see if there is a possibility that things could be settling down by the middle of next year. Freakin whoopee.

Based on a real story. Not a bad little flick. Can't get past the fact that Booger from Revenge of the Nerds actually went on to have an acting career. Now that I think about it, wasn't he in Moonlighting? I seem to remember him being on some TV show, but I can't recall which one.

**An endless laundry list of things to do. If I just toss the lest, the things don't get done, but maybe I'd worry less about the list itself. All in all, the list isn't so much of a problem as are the things that comprise the actual list. That reminds me that I need to put the reconstructed ramp for the dogs on that list. And I need to get some insulation rope from Menard's. Perhaps it's time for a list regarding the use of the lists.

** Crap. I have been alomost completely assimilated into modern society. How do I know this, you may well ask. I think I realized it when I got up the other morning and was disappointed after looking at my cell phone and not havinig any text messages. There are so many things wrong with that scenario that I can't begin to qualify them all.

**I think there is a dedicated cadre of people out there who are determined to give me a stroke. Or at least a crisis of conscience.

** Thumbed through one of my idea books the other day looking for a portable project with which I could keep my brain engaged somewhat while at work. What I opened the book to fits the bill nicely. You take you name and use it as an acronym, to come up with a phrase that is expressionate of who you are. Or it may not have said exactly that, but that was what stuck in my brain, so that's how I went after it. Listed below are the results of my efforts, some more accurate than others.
  1. doing absolutely nothing, inspiring every laziness
  2. darkside always nearby in every illumination
  3. distant and negative
  4. daftly anticipating nudity, instinctively elevating lust
  5. difficult and naiive
  6. dark artist, naturally
  7. difficult artist, naturally incorporating elemental lines
  8. determined agnostic, nocturnally inspired, elementary linesmith
  9. darting about nervously, inspecting every line
  10. distracted artisan never inside every line
  11. deviant, aligned neutrally, inert, expecting lunch
  12. damn arrogant now, initially extra lousy
  13. defending against neverending internal emotional logjams
  14. dancing after nightfall if everyone leaves
  15. dogs and newts in eternal lust
  16. devilish adversary, naturally idiotic, electively lazy
  17. docile and neutral, indifferent, experienced learner
  18. doesn't answer normally
  19. dashing about nocturnally
  20. doubting art. noting instead every lack

**I'll post some new pics of the tiki in progress tomorrow before I go to work.

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