Sunday, June 8, 2008

LJBT 5.19.8

CHAPTER ONE: Feel the burn!
I have a blister at the base of my right index finger. I have an 'almost' blister across the middle of my right palm. Several of my knuckles are scraped raw. Everything from the tips of the fingers on my right hand across my body to the tips of the fingers on my left hand is a tad achy. If it was simply another sign of my descent into middle age, I would most likely be a tad upset by it. But, since it is the result of me going on a carving binge, I see it as a good thing. Just a little reminder that it does indeed take some effort if you hope to get better at something. Having already garnered the distinction of being the most bad-assed tiki carver in my house, I have moved on to conquer our street. Up next, the city, the county, the state, and then the whole world! BWAHAHAAAHAAAHA!!
If sharpening my artistic skills leads me to be able to conquer the known universe, that would just be a side bonus compared to improving as an artist. I just have to remember to not hesitate when using the 'A' word in reference to myself. While it may be true that just about anyone could do what I do if they really wanted to, I have to remember that most people don't want to. Most people won't get up to change the channel, and think that microwave popcorn takes waaaaaaay too long. That makes if safe to assume that most of those same people wouldn't spend 40-80 hours carving a log. While my efforts may not be perceived in the mainstream as 'Art', it is widely known that I am more than willing to tell the mainstream to go fuck itself. I'm an artist. Deal with it.

CHAPTER TWO: Why Did It Have To Be Good?
It is with great shame that I must admit that I have subjugated myself to the will of mass marketing and allowed my will to be made one with the rest of the populace. I went to go see Iron Man. It's usually quite interesting to go see a movie that is an adaptation of a comic book with Pinklady. Her knowledge of all things superheroish is about nil, so she can go into a movie of that type without any preexisting notions. Most of the time I have at least a basic knowledge of the hero and their back story. In this case, my knowledge was indeed limited to the very basest things regarding the hero. This was one comic book that as a kid/teen never really caught my interest. I don't see that as a bad thing in this case, since it let me sit back and watch the movie without having some idea of how I think it should all go. since I'm not able to completely geek out and give you a frame-by-frame analysis of how the movie was right or wrong compared to the comic book, I can just tell you that I thought it was pretty darn good.
I liked the fact that the entire movie wasn't done as a continuous CGI scene. Another pleasant surprise was that the dialog wasn't composed only of snarky one-lines exchanged over explosions and gunshots. Pinklady was able to follow the story and understand the characters all on her own, which is a great credit to how well the story was told. When I found out that the running time was almost 2 1/2 hours, I did get a little apprehensive. I seem to recall other superhero movies that suffered greatly from bloated story lines and horrid pacing. This movie failed to get stuck on any of these points, moving along at a very good pace throughout. The number of characters introduced was also well balanced against how important they were to the story line. All in all I was pleasantly surprised by what seems to be one of the better superhero movies to come along in a while.

CHAPTER 3: And Then There Were None
Seems like we've hit another point of multiple employee shedding at work. Every few years we have a major upheaval in the employee roster. We've had a couple fired recently, another transferred to our sister hospital in Sandwich, and if I remember right, we were still short staffed before all this happened. Now it's almost a dead lock that Ms Sparkly Drawers will be making her way to the exit in the next three weeks or so. Mix in the usual dose of 'so-and-so is looking for a different job' and 'so-and -so is about to get canned' and it seems to make for a very unpleasant atmosphere around the ol' water cooler. I think we've hired two new people, but I don't know how helpful that's going to be with summer vacation season coming up and one of the day techs soon to be departing on maternity leave. Looks like the forecast is calling for gross with occasional extended periods of crappy in the near future.

CHAPTER 4: I Have No Idea What You're Talking About....
For some reason, I find myself returning to thoughts of No. 1 on a regular basis. I still can't think if there really is something there that I need to discover, or if the whole thing is just something I shift my attention to as an avoidance reaction. As I keep picking at the whole thing, I do tend to see little glimmers of insight here and there. My current line of thought is that this image of No. 1 that I've held on to for all this time is somehow representative of personal qualities i value, want to have, or some combination of the two. So I hang on to that image just in case I happen to invent a time machine over the weekend and zap myself back to 1987 there's a very slight chance that I might be a better match for her. I cannot begin to explain how totally disheartened that statement makes me feel. Reality sucks. To have to say that if I were to meet her in the present it would be a complete and total unknown as to whether or not there would be a snowball's chance in Hell that I would recognize her, much less be able to form a relation ship of some kind with her, stinks. And then to turn around and have to say that if I were to go back in time it's still a complete and total unknown as to whether or not there would be a snowball's chance in Hell that a relationship could be created also sucks. I really don't want to give up on that sliver of hope, that little element of perfect fantasy, that warm and fuzzy Hollywood ending. My track record with starting and maintaining relationships isn't the greatest in the world, so there is really no reason to think that this one, were it ever to occur at any point in the span of human history, would be any different. It just really suck major donkey ass to have to admit that.

CHAPTER 5: One Pill Makes You Larger, One Pill Makes You Small.....
In trying to fumble my way to some minimal degree of understanding of the deep seated roots of all these things, I can't help but wonder what role the Happy Caps play in all of this. I'm running through my usual spring ritual of 'I really want to get off of these damn pills'. as I start getting outside more and my level of physical activity goes up, I really don't seem to have as much of a need for them. So, I then wonder if there is an actual physical need for me to keep taking them, or if it has been shifted off into the realm of a mental habit? The nicer it gets outside, the more likely I am to start skipping doses, intentionally or not, without seeming to have any adverse effects. Then, logically, I start running in the direction of, 'Well, if I don't need them in the summer, do I really need them in the winter?' I don't want to be on them forever. I also don't want to erode back to the state I was in three or four years ago. I'm also not fond of the fact that the dose I need to be on to keep me on an even keel seems to keep increasing. Blech. I already feel like a balloon floating at the ceiling: up, but not going anywhere. Not that the state I was in twenty years ago was so much more wonderful than how I feel now. There are just times when I find myself struggling artistically to replace all those jagged emotional edges that used to be such a large part of of my work. Those edges, along with the more rampant parts of my libido are what the pills seem to have taken away from me. It's such a huge damping effect that I still don't haven't gotten used to it yet. I can't decide at the moment what exactly what I want to do. All I know for sure is that it's been about a week since I took my last dose.

CHAPTER 6: Down In The Mouth
In a recent conversation with the Actress, I suggested that she may want to consider becoming a dental hygienist, as there seems to be a steady demand for them. Her reply was basically that she wasn’t young enough, pretty enough, or big boobed enough to be a dental hygienist, based on what she’s seen. I decided to test this theory when I went this week to get my teeth cleaned (no cavities, by the way). I was all set to prove the Actress wrong, but it turns out that I couldn’t. My hygienist, the same one I’ve had for years now, is a super-cutie. She’s not be cute in a vapid, big boobed blonde way, more like a mother of three running close to 40 kind of way. I really think she should stop tanning, though. Anyway, score one for the Actress.

CHAPTER 7: Has It Been A Year Already?
Ray’s memorial service was this past weekend (finally (pardon the pun)). The entire Suchner clan descended on DeKalb to attend the event. Nothing really major to report, and now that the event has passed, I doubt we will be seeing that group as a whole until the next death in the family. The family can be easily split into two factions based on their geographic location for most of the year, thus giving you the Michigan group and the Minnesota group. The members of each separate group are very close among themselves, even across boundaries of immediate family. Then, if you consider them as an entire unit, they still seem to be quite close. Now, that having been established, I come to my point. Even though I have been attached to this unit via marriage to one of the immediate members for over 15 years, I have been given no avenues to actually become part of the group. This weekend was no exception to that. I’m hoping that on the occasion of the next family gathering I can arrange to skip town for a few days. We’d probably all be more comfortable with an arrangement like that. It’s just another shining example of my horrid interpersonal skills.

* So far, the possibility of the upcoming (?) 20 year high school reunion has caused two old classmates to pop out of the woodwork and find me on Facebook. Now I’m wondering if any more will show up.
* Mother’s Day. The score thus far: one MIA, one dead, one incommunicado.
* Happy upcoming birthday to the Pirate Queen! It will be interesting to see if my gift goes over well. After all, it has been a while.
* Brick has almost finished the stone cladding for the foundation. All that remains to do is the west side under the deck. Seems like we’re going to have plenty of stone left over, and not a clue as to what to do with it. I guess that’s better than running short, though

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